From Hong Kong with love
by puppy32482
Summary: Gary rings Miranda in the middle of the night what could be wrong?
1. 25 messages

**Authors note: Just a thought that popped into my head about how the green card incident could have happened….**

Miranda woke with a start her phone was ringing even though her alarm clock said 2 AM. The phone stopped it read 25 missed calls from Gary it must be important she thought to herself as she quickly dressed and left the flat. Gary only lived in the next street so Miranda was soon at his front door she knocked almost instantly a very worked up Gary answered the door…..


	2. BLEEEEGH

"Gary its 2AM I thought you were hurt!" screamed Miranda she was just about to have a rant about beauty sleep when she noticed Gary was white as a ghost and cradling a baby.

"Um this is why I called you I know nothing about babies you see" whispered Gary gesturing towards the baby in his arms

"Where did it come from?" questioned Miranda Gary handed her a note it read:

_Gary _

_take _care_ of her_

_Tamara._

"I found her on the doorstep with nothing but the clothes she's wearing some formula and a bottle" said Gary as he sat on the sofa

"who is Tamara Gary?" said Miranda sternly.

" I…I married her for a green card oh my god Miranda what do I do".

BLEEEEGH the baby was sick all over Gary's pyjamas "yuuuck Miranda take her I need to get changed and put that baby grow in the sink will you.

"GAAARRRYY YOUR BABY NEEDS CHANGING" bellowed Miranda

"I HAVE NO NAPPIES I'LL GET ONE OF MY SHRTS" shouted Gary from his bedroom


	3. Everybody loves fruit friends!

This takes place the next day in Miranda's flat:

Stevie walks in trailing her suitcase behind her

Stevie: Miranda I'm back from the training course have you got kicked out of anywhere

Miranda: No but I have got some news

Stevie: OOOOOOH GOSSIP SPILL SPILL SPILL !1

Miranda: ok well….

Miranda was interrupted by Gary bursting through the door with the baby in his arms

Gary: I've taken her to Dr Gail he said she's around 9 months old and he did a DNA test I have the results!

Stevie: um Gary why do you have a baby?

Miranda: all in good time my pint sized friend, Gary give her to me and open that envelope he did as he was told… and promptly fainted.

Gary woke up to the sound of laughter coming from the other room he got up to investigate and the strangest sight met his eyes Miranda and Stevie were sat on the floor playing fruit friends with the baby Stevie looked up

Stevie: She's yours then

Gary: yep so I'd better get a name for her or she'll only answer to baby

Three hours later:

Gary: I got it

Stevie: for the last time you can't call the kid Nigella

Miranda: Stevie's right you know Gary and no you can't call her Michelle or any other chef related names

Gary: I wasn't going to suggest Nigella or Michelle how about Saoirse Ivy

Stevie: Gary you can't… hang on that's ok but how do you pronounce it again?

Gary: Sur-sha

Miranda: Perfect


	4. Its meant to be a bunny

Miranda: oh hello my old chums how are you I can't hear you so back to me well previously in my life I became a God Mother to Gary's daughter Saoirse, who none of us knew existed (not even Gary) it's her birthday today so I made her this (we see what is meant to be a bunny) I know I know but I'm awful at knitting anyway lets jolly on with the show

**IN THE RESTRAUNT**

Gary is trying his best to hang decorations but is failing miserably Saoirse is playing on the floor with some fruit friends

Miranda: need a hand Gary?

Gary: yes please

They began to hang the banner that Tilly had made

Miranda: they'll all be here in a minute Stevie was just closing up when I left

Gary: I've done a cake

Miranda: this is going to be the best party EVER

Stevie, Penny and Tilly walk in

Stevie: we're here happy birthday Saoirse

Tilly: yeah happingtons birthdaytons

Penny: happy what I call birthday

Miranda: we all call it a birthday Mum

Penny: this is for you from your God Grandma

Penny gives Saoirse a new dress (because everyone knows Gary's useless at choosing clothes),Tilly gives her a toy phone and immediately tries to teach Saoirse the phrase 'bear with' some , then Miranda gives her erm bunny and finally Stevie gives her present…. Sylvanian families

Stevie: it's never too young to start a collection

Miranda: really Stevie… really

Gary and on that note lets do the cake

Miranda: CAKE!

HAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO YOOOU

HAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO YOOOU

HAAAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR…

Gary looked round and there was Tamara Saoirse's Mum

Gary: Tamara what are you doing here

Tamara: I've come to get my daughter back even if I have to take you to court

Gary: you do that but don't forget that abandonment is a criminal offence in the UK

Tamara: ill be back with a good lawyer

and with that she stormed out . Everyone was a bit shocked but they still carried on the party for Saoirse .


	5. She has a thing for fruit

**Authors note: thank you for the kind review this was inspired by a real incident with a very old oak tree!**

Miranda and Stevie have taken Saoirse to the park and are busy chatting when suddenly stevie exclaims

Stevie: Miranda where's Saoirse?

Miranda: I thought YOU were watching her

Stevie: well I thought YOU were watching he we have to find her Stevie EMERGENCY WALK!

An hour later they were about to give up when an angry park warden with a moustache like a caterpillar came stomping up to them holding Saoirse at arm's length

Park ranger: IS THIS YOUR DAUGHTER?

Miranda: God Daughter actually where did you find her ?

Park ranger: STEALING AN APPLE OUT OF MY LUNCH

Stevie: oh we are sorry she has a thing for fruit

Miranda: BUUUURRP

yes Miranda had burped in his face he was now looking angrier than before

Stevie: I think we should run

Stevie grabbed Saoirse and they ran as fast as their legs would carry them back to the shop


	6. You are useless Gary

Its 8am in the shop Miranda runs down the stairs

Stevie: you're up early no leaves on the carpet this morning then

Miranda: please keep your voice down Stevie I have a massive hang over

Stevie: actually what did happen last night?

Miranda: the thing is I can't remember…

**IN THE RESTRAUNT **

Gary is falling asleep on his feet

Clive: Gary are you hung over

Gary: no… yes

Clive: well don't get used to it your Mums going back to Devon tomorrow

Gary: I know sorry Clive

Clive: so did my Miranda plan work

Gary: I can't remember anything

Clive: I got Miranda to go to a club and you can't remember ANYTHING you are useless


	7. Every time Gary

**Authors note: Sorry for the delay on this one the chapter is set during a brief encounter Miranda has decided to visit a old friend to get over Gary **

In the shop

Gary walks in with Saoirse in her pushchair

Gary: Stevie where's Miranda

Stevie: your too late she's already on a train to Holby … I should not of said that

Gary: watch Saoirse for me

Gary sped towards the train station when he got there he bought a ticket to Holby .the train was about to leave so Gary jumped on .

At Holby train station

Gary looked around for signs of Miranda suddenly a gang of youths got off the train shouting GET HER a rather flustered Miranda was being chased by youths just the thing to happen to her

Gary: MIRNADA HEAD FOR THE LIFT

They both ran for the lift at the end of the platform both got inside then Miranda started furiously tapping the buttons eventually the doors closed

Miranda: Gary I have to tell you something I…

The lift made a groaning noise and stopped

Gary: looks like we're stuck better spit it out Miranda

Miranda: well…..do you remember that night we went out

Gary: I have no idea what happened

Miranda: neither do I but I do know that im pregnant and its defiantly yours!

Gary looked shocked he grinned then fainted

Miranda: GARY EVERY TIME

Moderator: hello is someone stuck

Miranda: yes and my friend has fainted

Moderator: ill send a repairman and an ambulance


End file.
